Synthesis Essay

A respectful approach of parenting can take on many different forms. However in the two texts “The most powerful question a parent can ask…” by Neil Milar and “Be-ers and do-ers” by Budge Wilson, the most powerful question also seems to be the most respectable. Both texts recite lessons and techniques used by parents to teach their children to establish achievable goals. However not every parent can go about reciting these morals in a way that is respectable to their children.

In “Be-ers and do-ers” a mother has high hopes for her young son to grow into a “do-er” even though it is clear from a very young age that his personality reflects everything you could imagine of the typical “be-er”. The mother tries to force her thoughts and beliefs on him and grow him into a figure much like herself. The son disregards his mother’s teaching and instead follows his own feelings on how he wishes to live life. In the end he ends up living the life he wants to live, and it is still a respectable one. In my opinion a mother forcing her ideas on her son is not a very respectful way to conduct parenting. Instead lending a guiding hand while making suggestions on directions in which to go on and nurturing developing idea’s and logistics of the child’s personality is much more respectable way to help him or her establish goals.

In “The Most Powerful Question a Parent Can Ask” Neil Milar simply asks the reader one simple question. “What kind of children do you want to raise?” The answer to this of course will be primarily the same. Parents will want to raise “well rounded, confident, considerate children that show gratitude and appreciation for all that is given to them”. Neil Milar then proceeds to ask, “Will the current behavior in your household make that happen?” The text goes on to talk about how the secret to raising the perfect child is to make him or her responsible for their own well being. A child who can prepare him or herself for school or contribute to preparing dinner go on to become the respectable kids. Milar also explains the responsibilities must be given slowly at first and rewarded. Then slowly add more and “as soon as they are ready. Hand over responsibility for their well being to them”. I believe this is a much more respectful approach to parenting as it teaches the child how to be self sufficient in a not only practical but also caring way.

In my opinion an assessment of “The Most Powerful Question A Parent Can Ask…” and “Be-ers and Do-ers” shows “The Most Powerful Question A Parent Can Ask” as the more respectful approach to parenting. Both texts are based upon showing your child the right path, but Neil Milar’s approach of slowly building up while giving rewards for good behavior seems far superior to simply forcing beliefs on a child and expecting to see results.